note: i’ve decided to try this whole “lower-case” phenomenon that’s so popular these days. screw the man, i’m not going to capitalize anything!
it’s that time of year when bikes around the world get that uneasy feeling in the pocketbook. they wake up dreaming of carbon and 5″ of travel. they fantasize about the new carbon 29er or the sloping downtube of the new “made in america” cross-country hotness. it’s also when significant others start to hide the credit cards and wallets.
the first expo this fall is eurobike, located in germany. i’ve never been, i’ll probably never go, but the guys from my favorite bike shop in the world, competitive cyclist, did go. check out their take on the scene here:
1 a: slow of mind : obtuse b: given to unintelligent decisions or acts : acting in an unintelligent or careless manner. c: lacking intelligence or reason : brutish
2 : Wade and Germ
Most people know that summer in central Texas is not the time to do stupid things outdoors. Most people limit their time outdoors, and limit their activity, or at least choose times that the temps are below three digits.
And then there are idiots like Wade and I. I think we’ve lost our minds after watching the first couple of Tour stages in the Alps. We sit at work, locked indoors for eight hours, and dream of the second we’re out. We make a mad dash for home, pack up our bikes, and hit the road to kill off the work rage, and climb some hills while we’re at it.
Fortunate for us, we didn’t check the weather before heading out. If we had, there was no chance in hell that we would have actually walked out the door. The shade can be misleading, that’s for damn sure.
Did I mention there were hills? Even more than we had expected to do? With a maximum grade of 15%?
Needless to say, until the average temps drop to a respectable 80, this is going to be a early morning weekend ride only.
Nothing says “klassy with a k” like driving 12 hours to spend a weekend in an Airstream trailer
It was gorgeous, and I highly recommend this place to anyone that wants to really get away, but doesn’t want to deal with setting up a tent and hobo-bathing with handi-wipes for a weekend.
More pictures from the Taos get-away can be found here
Most people have plans for their futures. A 401k, a pension plan, maybe even a will to determine who gets your debt. Me, I have a zombie plan. Go ahead and laugh, it’s funny. I know that right now, it’s comical to think of someone planning for the eventual attack of the undead. We laughed at the guy driving the first Honda Hybrid a long time ago, but who’s laughing now? We also laughed at those guys who stocked up, waiting for the end of time come midnight, 1999. Wait…nevermind.
Either way, I’m prepared. The plan is simple, survive. All you need is a mode of transportation, some sort of weapon, and a place to go. I have a couple of thoughts here; let me explain:
Transportation:
A bike is probably the best plan of action here, but what kind?! A mountain bike would allow you to go off-road in the event of a road being overrun, but it would be painfully slow. A road bike would be fast, and nimble enough to get away as quickly as possible; but what about those potholes, dead bodies, and three-foot limestone drops?! The best of both worlds comes in the form of a steel cyclocross ride. Tough, yet soft on the bum. Fast, but able to take on the tougher terrain. Also, very easy to throw over your shoulder in case you need to do some humping:
imagine the barriers are actually re-animated corpses
Weapons:
This is almost too simple. Go with something with some spread, but nothing that requires you aim too well. Best course of action, shotgun, preferably saw-off. Add a couple of machetes as accessories and you’re ready to walk the un-dead runway with the best of them. Don’t forget the basic rule here, you don’t have to reload a machete!
Extra points if you’re able to mount your shotgun to your bike.
Places to go:
I prefer open areas that are high. None of this barricade yourself in a mall shit. I want to see whos coming, and where they’re coming from. Being from Texas, we have a lot of open space to see in all directions. Sorry Boston, you’re fucked. A ranch in the valley would be perfect. Wind-driven water wells, lots of cattle, and lots of room to see who’s coming.
This was really a short sample of what my plan might be; I could really go on and on for days. Just ask Wade, the poor guy has to listen to me ramble about this every time we ride together. I bet he can’t wait until I turn in to zombie, just so he can shut me up.
Today was the third race in the tmbra race series. This week the venue was Warda; a place I’ve ridden plenty of times, and a place I felt I’d do really well. How did the race go, you ask? Let’s see…..
Yeah, that good. I think it was the combination of lack of sleep, lack of pre-riding, and lack of talent that hurt me here. The course was slightly different than before, and it really played to my weakness. What’s my weakness? Anything flat and wide open. Skinny people don’t do well on flat terrain. We need hills, we need topography, we need something to slow down the man-hammer! Speaking of man-hammer, let’s see what Wade thought about the race:
